I have instinctively developed hallucinatory escape to my safe hiding place in my mind, by mapping all over the world to reduce the sense of being harmed again. It is an underground industrial place where I would be alone without any intruders coming in to abuse me anymore. Paradoxically, I hear crashing mechanical sound in the distance. This place is very cold, the ambiance is foggy and dimming blue. It resembles the hostility of the ritual abuse, to the concrete walls there; the coldness, hardness and brutality. This place is directly birthed out of extreme trauma.

I have experienced a wall of glass, a severe dissociative experience ever since early childhood, where I would walk across the multi-dimensional boundaries. My passion over a dark lifeless place, was reflected by my protective system, by loving the pain, in order to overcome the pain of the ritual abuse forcefully, due to how considerably extensive it was. Initially, I did not like pain at all, but then when I have grown to accept and embrace the pain that came so routinely, was how I have buffered from the hurt in reduction. My abusers have perverted my perception of pain.