The pain that my abusers have inflicted upon me, during extreme sexual, physical and psychological ritual abuse, was unspeakable. It was a different level of pain that can only be depicted architecturally, for no words can justify it. It is beyond the terms, being extremely profound, a maximal emptiness, which my inside world was screaming to the sky that is without a ceiling. Feeling inferior as dust, to what is overpowering above and a reoccurring death drowning scene, in which I fall.

They have raped and molested me daily, which I was already deeply wounded, but being wounded again and again emotionally, was an amplification of that traumatic pain. The repetitive re-traumatizing blows were severe enough, I was feeling complete numbness with out-of-body experiences. The trauma was deep enough, my spirit was being split asunder, which I was looking at myself in detachment.