For the entire 24 years of my life, I was splitting nonstop every second at a minimum rate, sometimes it has been halved of a second or quartered of a second, producing rapid dissociation, when I was being raped and molested repeatedly by countless of abusers under extreme ritual abuse. I kept dying nonstop in trauma, is what I would label it as “eternal deaths.” I do not believe anyone would want to take my place and to go through what I have gone through.

There was no more substance left in me as a proper human; an existence that has not been developed yet. Outsiders cannot base on face-value to discern the level of fragmentation within me, that was caused by my abusers. The trauma was deep enough, it is a feeling of being stuck at conception. I felt like I was being struck by lightning, a sensation that made me float oftentimes, that even the worst earthly pain cannot be compared to what I have suffered.