I am a male, this is what I am feeling inside, despite with a female body outside. This dissociation has been forced upon me to make me feel safer and less targeted. It has protected me. I was mercilessly raped and molested by my abusers, so much that I felt like a toy that they own, an object that is branded worthless and nothing but their plaything for sexual purposes only.

They have made me mentally and intellectually disabled, which I would regress into a childlike state in my presentation to others, but outwardly is an adult body. I was crying so much in the dark at night, wetting my clothing, feeling as though no one has seen my tears. I felt very cold inside, extremely humiliated and eternally forsaken. It is a void that is ever-expanding to infinity without end point.