This is the first phase of second group’s first account. I was already feeling extremely traumatized, depressed and suicidal at birth. I was being recorded on camera during the time I was being molested by my abuser. Countless of abusive watchers were watching me being abused, who were masturbating at me, when I was a little girl.

They took advantage of my innocence, for I did not have sexual knowledge. I did not understand what was sexual arousal and sexual orgasm. I was sitting on his lap, with both of my legs spread opened, leaning my back onto him, crying and breathing unevenly, as he placed his hand into my skirt to feel my thigh for a very long time. He then told me, “sweetheart, touch yourself”, as his right hand was guiding my hand to touch my own hairless genital, putting his hand into my white undies and another of his left hand was pushing my clothing up to my upper chest, as he was rubbing my flat breasts. He added, “good girl.”

I was crying even more, breathing rapidly, when he was masturbating my genital, forcing me to get wet of my white undies. He said, “oh my little girl is all wet and crying.” I was extremely humiliated in front of a large audience. He then inserted his fingers into my genital and started fingering me, penetrating me in and out. The time when my traumatic memories have revived, I ended up in the ambulance to the emergency department, being hospitalized, due to prolonged acute suicidal crisis.